In the most recent years, I haven't been a very devout Catholic. Yes, I believe in God, and I think that he has a plan for us all (though it may seem twisted and backward most of the time...), but I haven't been to church in ages, and I have only been praying when I need something. That's not right, is it? It's not a one sided relationship. I'm not as gracious for the blessings and gifts in my life as I should be. I'm a brat a lot of the time. Always asking why me? why now? why this? But God always knows when to give me a bit of guidance. A little reminder that He is there, watching over me, making sure that I don't wander too far.
Today I was going through my blogger list, clicking through all of the blogs that I follow and catching up from the long weekend, when I saw this post from Sarah at The Smart Kitchen. In her post, Sarah writes that she hasn't felt like herself on her blog lately, and she feels like she's been blogging just to blog. God....how did you know that I needed to read this today? That I was looking for an outlet yesterday because I was an emotional wreck? This is supposed to be my outlet! That's what I started the blog for in the first place. Yes, I want to document the places I visit, the recipes I create, and the new and exciting foods I try, but I also knew that post-grad life was not going to be glorious and that I would need a place to just let my thoughts flow freely.
Going forward, I vow to write what's on my mind. To be cheerful if I am feeling cheerful, to write about my stressors if I am feeling anxious, and to vent if I am feeling upset or angry (I was about to say "sorry in advance" after that last statement and then I thought to myself....why am I apologizing? I am trying to make a point!) I doubt anyone even reads this blog on the days that are not "What I Ate Wednesday" and that my emotions are just free flowing into the infinite internet universe. It's kind of calming to think about though...
Anyway, thank you for listening...whoever you are. I wrote an emotional and angry poem at like 3am last night to help alleviate some of my pent up thoughts and feelings. I think it's still too personal to post here, though I will share it eventually. Maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day
